


Just Follow The Yellow Brick Road

by Dannycangetitright



Series: Fratt Rule Chronicles [2]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Punisher (Comics)
Genre: Halloween, M/M, halloween fic, if you squint you might see some spideypool, just random mumblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-22 21:18:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8301446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dannycangetitright/pseuds/Dannycangetitright
Summary: So this came out of nowhere from that deadpool suicide kings comic. the one with the punisher in the tin man costume and matt in the cowardly lion costume :  http://orig00.deviantart.net/12fc/f/2009/219/8/e/deadpool_rejected_1st_version_by_l030.jpg this series is also not in any particular order at all. so like it just comes on pure whim. and yeah i might expand this when it's halloween? who knows?? depends on how ya'll react to it.





	

“I’m so glad I can’t actually see what I’m wearing right now…it feels…so wrong.”

“Trust me, Red, I’m getting an _eyeful_ for the both of us.”

“Watch it, Tin Man,” Matt warned as he tapped his wrist against his boyfriend’s fully tin-wrapped body. Matt and Frank both were trying to wrangle the bottom half of the suit on, and with a quick pull the bottom half was over his hips. Matt sighed as he brought his head against Frank’s collarbone, or, well, his aluminum clad collar bone which. “I have no idea how I got caught up in this damn mess? I mean, really, how in high heavens did we ever let this happen?” he was mostly asking Frank, but the question was out in the air for everyone which was just Wade for now.

“We lost the bet, Matt, you know we had to,” Wade’s muddled voice said from the bathroom. “I don’t know if the wig will fit…hmm. Do we have anything bigger?” Wade asked little louder, projecting his voice about his concern.

“Not really,” Frank hummed out. “They only had that _size_ and you know that.”

“ _You_. You made the bet,” Matt loudly accused Wade, glaring at the bathroom door for unneeded emphasis. Then, turning his glare fully on Frank, “ _You—_ and this idiot,” he fumed out, poking Frank’s metal chest, “made a goddamn bet with the lacrosse team and now we’re whatever the fuck _this mess is_.”  

“It’s not that bad,” Frank said, trying to be soothing and not at all making light of the situation. Because what they were doing was bad. It was awful. But Frank had accepted his punishment a long time ago because it wasn’t going to do any good being a perpetual pout like Matthew was being.

“You’re not in the fur suit, _Frank_ ,” Matt whined sadly as he wriggled in his outfit to let it fit better. “I’m in the most goddamn _itchiest_ costume in the world. It feels like this thing’s fabric is made of steel wool instead.”

Frank leveled a hand on Matt’s cheek, gently pinching his cheeks as he said, “I’m in a tin can outfit, Red. I think it’s safe to assume we’re all equally uncomfortable.” To accentuate his point Frank tapped the foil wrapped funnel on his head. Matt smiled up at him reluctantly as he heard the sound of plastic and aluminum rattle.

Thankfully that was true. Frank _was_ wearing something as equally ridiculous as him, and that should have made him feel better.

It didn’t help. Not by much. Not with how incredibly uncomfortable it still felt on his skin. He wanted to wriggle so badly out of it, to wash himself away of the gross feeling, and find comfort in the silk sheets instead. Particularly with Frank next to him.  

But right now he hated Frank. Frank was the reason he was in this damn suit in the first place. Frank and the whole goddamn hockey team.

“Except for me,” Wade said as he stood naked in his jock with a twin braided wig that was a bit too small on his head. “I’m not uncomfortable at all. You think I should add red ribbons, Frank? Make it look natural?”

Frank made a disgusted noise and threw a towel at Wade’s direction. “Wear whatever, and please, for the love of god, come back with something other than your jock next time,” begged Frank.

Wade turned around with not so much of a sorry or care.

“Guys, have any of you seen my straw hat?” Pete asked distractedly as he entered Frank’s room.

Frank whipped his head to look at Pete, his eyes glaring widely. “We told you to get the fuck out Peter! You’re shedding hay inside the fucking house.”

“I’m sorry,” Pete said apologetically as he sauntered and glanced around in the room. “I just thought I left it in here when Wade stuffed me.”

“So, you’re here for round two now?” Wade said suggestively as he opened the door and thankfully had a towel on, but also, very sadly, a bra wrapped around his chest. The bra was completely unnecessary of course, but Wade was always, if not most of the time, completely unnecessary.

“Of straw! Stuffed me with straw!” Peter grounded out, unimpressed tone apparent.

Wade hmpfed emphatically. “Don’t be such a prude.”

“Where’d you get that bra?” Peter asked suddenly as he passed Wade to search behind the armchair.

“It’s a D cup,” Wade said as he cupped himself. “I bought it at Victoria Secret, too.”

“You stole that,” Matt stated with heavy conviction, and then a grimace settled on his countenance when he said, “and I distinctly remember  Jessica’s drawers.”

Wade made a scoffing noise as he rummaged around his hockey bag. “Did not. Jessica’s not even close to a D cup. Also,” Wade said with a questioning look, “creepy as hell that you sniff bras.”

“It’s not as creepy as wearing another person’s garments,” argued Matt pointedly. “And it’s not like I can help it.”

Wade scoffed. “I’m telling you these are _mine_. And she wish she had knockers like these.”

Matt cocked his head, with his eyes open wide to something that was akin to incredulous. “Somewhere right now she has the sudden urge to slap you,” Matt pointed out, “And suddenly I do too.”

“When do you both not?” Frank grunted out. Matt nodded thoughtfully as he accepted that.  

“Whatever. Peter, hand me my dress,” Wade said as he pointed to the arm chair where the frilly blue dress was laid out and went back to the bathroom to put it on. All of the outfits had been ordered last week by express order shipment at their front door in a large brown box. Matt had quickly felt the letter in his hand and was given the wonderful surprise that he had to be the _cowardly_ lion. And Matt knows they specifically made him wear the lion suit because of his nickname on ice as Daredevil.

Sometimes he really hated hockey nicknames. He hated hockey in general.

Frank finally brought the top half of the suit towards his hands. Tentatively he felt around for the opening hem, sliding the suit over his head and putting his hands through the arms with a put upon sigh. When Frank zipped the rest of the suit up with a small tug to get the zipper in place he felt incredibly trapped.  

“Now all that’s left is the head.”

“Can I just not wear it?” said Matt as he squirmed around in his suit. “I’m pretty sure it doesn’t even matter to have it all on.”

“Red…” Frank chided.

“I hate you so much,” whined Matt as he slumped his shoulders in defeat. He went fully lax as his body fell backwards in defeat. He groaned dramatically as most of his fall was cushioned by the padded suit on him as he bounced harmlessly on the matress. 

“The heads not so bad. At least it’s got a hole for your face to go through.”

“Oh, _yeah,_ ” muttered Matt sarcastically. “What a consolation.”

“Stop being a baby and put it on,” ordered Frank, then, like a switch his voice took a different edge as he smiled evilly. “Or should I say… _cub_ about it.”

“Booo,” echoed Wade’s voice from the bathroom.

“Why am I dating you? Seriously?” Matt sighed heavily as he gagged for emphasis.

“Because along with my awesome puns I'm devilishly handsome and have a killer right hook?”

“Well, when you put it that way it all makes sense.”

Frank sighed this time as Matt crept further away from Franks ministrations. “Can we just get this over with? Put the head on, choirboy.”

“Try me asshole,” Matt challenged as he stepped further away from Frank’s body and closer towards the headboard. His scurrying made Frank snicker, which led to Matt giving him the finger and covering himself with the blanket.

In the end Frank started to plead a little desperately, the crank of his metal body almost as pathetic as his terrible attempt to not laugh at Matt still. “C’mon, Matt, be reasonable about this,” he snickered out as he held a hand that Matt wasn’t going to take.

“There is no _reason_ when it comes to this,” Matt said as he dropped the duvet from his head. “I can deal with the body and everything thing else, but I’m not wearing the stupid head!”

“Wade,” Frank called out gravely as he stared back mutinously at Matt’s angry glare, “I’m gonna need your help on this.”

So after what could have been a lengthy cage match battle with Frank and Wade against Matt, actually ended quite suddenly when Wade noted how this must look like the weirdest porno, and Matt cringing so hard he stood still long enough for Frank to slap the head piece on him with a victorious roar.

Once each of them all got ready, and both he and Frank begrudgingly (except for Wade who totally wasn’t begrudging this predicament at all) walked out of the house in their ridiculous costume with makeup and whiskers as the final pieces to accentuate. It was a difficult task to bring Frank down as his costume inhibited a lot motion, making him waddle his way down the stairs that made needlessly made fun of him for while Wade snickered as Frank gave both of them each a metal middle finger that Matt couldn’t really see but knew was there nonetheless.

When all of them situated themselves on the porch Matt had half the mind to just go back in and undress. But Frank’s hold on his paw— _hand,_ his mind adamantly corrected himself, had kept him from immediately following that decision through.

“Oh, no, Red. You’re already in costume, so you’re way too in deep the rabbit hole to quit now.”

“I’m a Lion, _Frank_. I wouldn’t _be_ in a rabbit hole in the first place.”

“You know what I mean. And look at that, you’re already accepting who you are for Halloween.”

He glared again at the man who was supposedly his boyfriend. “I hate you,” Matt said for what felt like the hundredth time since he was told he’d have to be a part of this.

“Are we really doing this?” Peter asked all of a sudden as he stood up and walked towards the gate the exited their front yard.

“A bet’s a bet. We all live by the hockey and sports bylaws. Bets are to be kept with utmost dignity and respect.”

“All of you hockey brats are idiots and I hate you,” Matt snapped at them for the hundred-and-oneth time.

“You do know you’re part of the team, too?” Peter said matter of fact.

“And I had to have joined you this year when you made this bet. God is really on my side this year.”

Frank chuckled lightly as he brought a clanky arm over his mane. “God’s never been on the side of the Devil and you know that, Red.”

Matt rolled his eyes and groaned embarrassedly at his nickname. No day would live to be the worst as that day.

“C’mon, Matt,” Wade cheerfully said, voice a pitch higher, “ _just follow the yellow brick road_ ,” he sing-songed out as his arms swayed.

“If only it was the ears and not the eyes,” Matt said regretfully as he stooped his head on Frank’s metal shoulder.

“Don’t think you’d want to see Wade in a dress, Red.”

“It’s actually kinda frightening how well he pulls it off,” Spidey says from somewhere on the porch stairs.

“And his singing is any less terrifying?”

“Least you don’t have both,” Frank said wryly.

Matt laughed his agreement and smiled mirthlessly, as he said resignedly, “Let’s just get this over with.”


End file.
